Miscommunication
by Fictionnaire
Summary: An Australian is assigned to Team Gibbs. But what happens when they encounter the language barrier? -Warning- May cause some offence
1. Chapter 1

_**MISCOMMUNICATION**_

(What could happen if an Australian gets assigned to Team Gibbs)

Tony DiNozzo, Ziva David and Bruce LaPaglia were waiting in the Director's office as they were instructed. Tony held an icepack to his jaw and Bruce was holding a handkerchief to his nose to stem the bleeding. Ziva sat in the middle while looking pretty pleased with her self over everything.

Jenny walked into her office and looked at the three agents that sat in front of her. Tony had been with the agency the longest… Ziva was Mossad and therefore very well disciplined and LaPaglia was part of the foreign exchange program to learn the American way of investigating and therefore representing his country, Australia… All three of them should have known better as to not get into fighting with each other. She successfully hid a smirk at Tony's bruised cheek and LaPaglia's bloody nose.

"Any of you want to tell me what happened?" Jenny asked. She almost felt like a high school principal that's always having troublesome students sent into her office. "Agent DiNozzo… You begin," it was an order and not up for discussion.

"He hit me for no reason," Tony pointed past Ziva and at Bruce. "I was just talking as normally as I do," he said.

"Ha!" Bruce responded quickly. "I hit you for no reason? I had a perfect reason to hit you," he added.

"And what was the reason Agent LaPaglia?" Jenny asked. He wasn't denying it so that was the start in the right direction. "Not that there's ever a good reason to strike a fellow agent," Jenny added.

"He was being disrespectful to Officer David," he answered.

"It's David," Ziva replied with annoyance.

"Well, Agent DiNozzo was being disrespectful to Officer Dah-Veed," Bruce quickly corrected himself. He had first hand experience with what her temper was like. "Tony kept commenting about her…" Bruce cut himself off.

"About her what?" Jenny's eyes

"Well I can't repeat it in front of you and Officer Dah-Veed," Bruce answered. He thought him self as too much of a gentleman to do that.

"All I said that I think Ziva has the cutest fanny in NCIS," Tony defended himself. He couldn't figure why that had caused the Australian to act violently towards him. "No offence to you Director," Tony said calmly.

"None taken," she smiled.

"Have you all got a few sheep loose in the top paddock?" Bruce asked with a shocked expression. He couldn't believe that they were just throwing that word around in the present company. "You honestly don't have a problem with him commenting on your…" Bruce cleared his throat. "Your, you know?"

"He is Tony," Ziva said. "We are use to it. We come to expect it. I honestly do not see the big deal about it," she added.

"You mean you don't comment about fannies in Australia?" Tony asked.

Bruce felt somewhat flustered. "Not unless you want your faces slapped or worse," he answered uncomfortably.

"What? Why?" Tony asked. "Don't Australian women like having their asses talked about?" he was bewildered. Surely not all women enjoy that, but there had to be some that did.

"What?" Bruce asked as he matched Tony's bewildered expression. "You're saying that… That word is referring to a girl's bum?" Bruce asked. There seemed to be a lot to learn about the Australian-American translation.

"Yeah," Tony answered. "Why, what do you think it means?" He asked. It was tough trying to understand the Australian that was for sure.

"Well…" Bruce began to say. Trying to find the right words.

"Just spit out Agent LaPaglia," Jenny said impatiently. She wanted to wrap this up as quickly as possible.

"Excuse me?" Bruce blinked a couple of times. "If you really want me to… In Oz, that term," he pointed to Tony so they knew what he was referring to. "Is what we use to call pussy," Bruce cleared his throat.

Jenny's face turned red. "So that makes your reaction to Tony's words understandable. Do we all agree?" She waited for the three to nod. "Now what happened to your nose Agent LaPaglia?" Jenny asked.

"Officer Da- Dah-Veed punched _me_ for no reason," Bruce answered. He was just talking to her normally when Ziva turned around and struck him on the nose. It was obvious that she was a capable fighter but it was another thing to actually experience it first hand. "I was just talking to her and then wham!" He raised his voice and made a punching motion to accentuate the point.

"It was not for no reason Agent LaPaglia," Ziva defended herself. She felt that she had good reason to act the way she did.

"Like what?" Bruce asked. "What possible reason could you have for striking me? If it was because I hit Agent DiNozzo here, I could understand," Bruce answered. But the two events seemed unconnected.

"You talked about Tony being disrespectful to me," Ziva snapped. "Why do you not think about how disrespectful you were to me?" She asked.

"Name one thing I said that was disrespectful," Bruce asked.

"You suggested to me that we become mates," Ziva said in an angry tone. The conversation only happened about ten minutes earlier had escaped Bruce's memory. "That should not have been forgotten already," Ziva said.

"What's wrong with that?" Bruce asked.

Ziva's eyes were fuming. "I do not know you all that well. But what makes you think that I would want to have sex with you?" She asked in an extremely dangerous tone.

"What?!" Bruce asked. "Crikey no. Where'd the bloody hell did that come from?" That came out of the blue.

"You suggested we become mates," Ziva repeated a bit slower so that Bruce could understand perfectly.

"Whoa, wait a minute. No!" Bruce responded excitedly. "I didn't say we should mate I said we should be mates," he tried to explain quickly but only ended up confusing the issue more.

"That means something different in Australia?" Tony leaned forward so he could look directly at Bruce. He'd interviewed a couple of Australian women before and was amazed at how they talked. There was still so much he didn't get.

"Yes!" Bruce shouted the answer. "It means really good friends. I was just saying that I wanted us to become really good friends," Bruce calmed down.

"Then why did you not just say that?" Ziva asked.

"I'm so use to saying _mate_," Bruce answered.

"Are we all sorted then?" Jenny asked. "Is this miscommunication over?"

"Yes Director," They all answered accompanied with the nod of the head. The three stood up and left the office.

"In future, make sure you know what each other means," Jenny said just before they left.

* * *

Tony, Ziva and LaPaglia briskly descended the stairs and straight into the deathly gaze of Agent Gibbs. "Where the hell have you three been?" He asked angrily. He'd been out for coffee and when he came back everybody was gone… That was half an hour ago. The unexplained absence demanded explanation. "What happened to you two?" he pointed to Tony, who held an icepack against his cheek and LaPaglia's nose looked slightly swollen.

"Well," Tony said. "I got hit for talking about asses, Boss," he smiled.

"And I got hit for saying that we should become really good friends," Bruce answered as he sat down.

"Ziva?" Gibbs asked.

"I hit him," Ziva nodded in Bruce's direction.

"I can't leave you three alone for five minutes now?" Gibbs asked gruffly.

* * *

A/N: This came about because of the differences in Australian and American terms. And yes, LaPaglia is named after Johnathon LaPaglia(Who was born in South Aus) who played Langer on NCIS


	2. Chapter 2

_**MISCOMMUNICATION 2**_

Agent LaPaglia was getting use to filling out some forms. It was advised strongly that he try using a pencil first. There were some minor differences in filling out the paperwork but it was basically the same. Occasionally he made a basic mistake though and the last mistake wasn't able to be fixed without rubbing it out.

"Agent DiNozzo?!" Bruce shouted to get the attention of the man to his left.

"Yes, Agent LaPaglia," Tony answered without taking his eyes off his monitor.

"Do you have a rubber?" Bruce asked.

"What?" Tony asked. He was positive that he'd misheard the Foreign Exchange Agent. Surely his ears had to be mistaken.

"I need a rubber? Can you at least lend me one?" Bruce said.

"Why should I give you one of my rubbers?" Tony asked his face contorted in shock. "I really don't like giving my rubbers out to everyone who asks for one," he said.

"I only need it for a couple of minutes," Bruce explained. "I'll give it straight back after I'm done using it," he said. Bruce wanted to get rid of the mistake as soon as possible. Surely Tony wouldn't have a problem with that but he was making such a big deal about it.

"What did you just say?!" He asked. He stuck his finger in his ear and tried to clear the blockage. There had to be a reason for him hearing this.

"I said, I'll give it right back after I've finished with it," Bruce repeated.

"Man, that is totally sick," Tony responded. "Are all Aussies as sick as you?" He asked.

"All I asked for was a rubber… I need to use it quickly before Agent Gibbs gets back. I need your rubber to show Agent Gibbs I'm getting the hang of things," Bruce frantically explained.

"You really need to see a shrink," Tony suggested.

Bruce yelled as Gibbs entered the bullpen. "Is it customary to make such noise while doing your paperwork Agent LaPaglia?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm sorry Agent Gibbs, Sir," Bruce said. "But I really need to get hold of a rubber right now," he told him.

Gibbs reaction was the same as Tony's earlier except it was less dramatic. "What?!" He shouted.

"I'm sitting here doing nothing but paperwork silently like a good agent… All I want is a rubber to help me finish… But you're all acting crazy," Bruce shook his head and threw his arms up. "I want a rubber because I have made a mistake alright and I need to rub it out," Bruce held up the piece of paper and pointed to one of his mistakes.

"If you wanted an _eraser_ then just say _eraser_." Tony said in annoyance and tossed over an eraser for Bruce to use.

"Thank you… Bloody hell," Bruce cursed.

* * *

_**Out in the Field**_

They'd arrived at the crime scene of a dead Naval Officer. They were looking over the crime scene. "Agent LaPaglia… Get the crime scene kit out of the trunk," Gibbs ordered. When the agent just stood there staring blankly. "Well?"

"Just over there?" Bruce asked as he pointed in the general direction of the car.

"Yes," Gibbs said impatiently pointing to near the car as well. "Get it from the trunk," he repeated the order.

"Alright," Bruce responded.

Tony looked at Gibbs who seemed to be looking over the crime scene but in deep thought. "Everything alright Boss?" Tony asked Gibbs.

"Yes, DiNozzo," Gibbs eventually replied. "I was just thinking about who would leave a body in this position," he said.

"A nut job?" Tony asked.

Bruce was shocked at the order that Gibbs had given him… But an order was an order and it had to be obeyed. Bruce found an axe in the back and looked at it closely. "Well an order is an order," he muttered and went for the nearest tree and began whacking it against the trunk.

"Perhaps we should check to see what's keeping him so long?" Tony checked his watch again.

"No," Gibbs answered. "He should be back any second," he said. But Gibbs was beginning to show signs of impatience.

xxxxxx

_Perhaps he meant this tree._ Bruce thought as he went to the third tree. He rolled his sleeves up and wiped the sweat from his brow before hacking away at the tree. It had to be one of the trees around this area. For the life of him he couldn't figure out why he couldn't find what he was looking for.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Gibbs asked angrily.

"I'm looking for a crime scene kit," Bruce asked as if nothing was amiss.

"In a tree?!" Gibbs barked. He couldn't believe that one of his agents was trying to chop down trees while they were at a crime scene.

"You told me to," Bruce answered. "You specifically asked me to," he defended himself.

"I did no such thing," Gibbs snapped.

"You told me to get the crime scene kit out of the trunk. So, that's what I'm doing," Bruce replied as he began chopping at the tree again. "Though I have no idea why anybody or even how the hell they would hide anything in the trunk of a tree," Bruce said with annoyance.

"Stop!" Gibbs shouted as he went to the car and pulled the crime scene kit and dropped it into the waiting hands of Bruce. "_That is a trunk._ The back of the car is a trunk," Gibbs snapped again.

"If you meant the car's boot… Why didn't you just say the boot?" Bruce said with annoyance. Why did everyone seem to speak gibberish around him? He was beginning to think that they were deliberately taking the piss.


	3. Football

_**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews... LOL, the Australian and American language is so different... This chapter is about Football.**_

* * *

"So what do you do on the weekend Tony?" It still felt strange calling him by his first name but Tony always insisted. "Anything major planned?" Bruce asked.

"I'm going to the football," Tony asked as he sat back down at the desk.

"They have football in the US?" Bruce asked as he went to take a mouthful of his drink. "I thought it was an Aussie thing. Who do you go for?" Bruce asked.

"I root for the Green Bay Packers," Tony answered flatly.

Bruce spat out some of the soda he was drinking and started choking, "What the bloody hell?!" He asked as once he regained composure. "You root for the whole team?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Of course I root for the whole team," Tony said with a slightly confused look on his face.

"That sure as hell should keep you busy for the whole weekend," Bruce said. "How many players are on the football team... Eighteen," he said.

"There's sometimes up to fifty three people on the team's roster," Tony explained and Bruce raised his eyebrows quizzically. "It's tough to remember all their names... So I root for only for the people that are on the field it narrows it down to eleven people," Tony said in all seriousness. He couldn't understand the confused look on Bruce's face. "What?"

"Rooting for eleven people in one weekend must be very hard work," Bruce said. "Do you do that every week?" He asked. "I mean I heard rumors, but that's amazing."

"What?" Now it was Tony's turn to be confused. Had he entered the Twilight Zone and not realized. Tony rubbed his face. "What are you talking about... Speak slowly," he said. Even though they both spoke virtually the same language, it seemed very different.

"You said you're rooting for the entire team," Bruce replied very, very slowly. "Correct me if I'm wrong but that would mean you have sex eleven times each weekend," he said.

"Wait! No," Tony replied forcibly. "I wish," he quickly changed his tone. "What do you call it when you go for a team in Australia?" He asked. "I'm really thinking of adding another language to the ones I know... Australian," Tony smirked at the joke.

"We call it barracking," Bruce answered. "We barrack for our teams," he said.

"Barracking? Oh man, so who do you... 'Barrack' for?" Tony asked.

"I barrack for the West Coast Eagles," Bruce answered. "They're a football team in West Oz," he explained.

"I have a spare ticket for the Football this weekend... You want to go see the Packers play?" Tony asked.

"Sure thing mate," Bruce was enthusiastic. He hadn't seen a football game since he had come to America and frankly he was really missing it. It was almost unbelievable to be invited to go and see a football match by one of the NCIS agents. You know what they say about things that sound too good to be true... It usually means things are too to be true.

* * *

_**After the Game**_

Tony noted that Bruce was in a very contemplative mood. It was that and he wasn't exactly too happy. On the way to the game Bruce was excited but as soon as he got there, he didn't seem too happy at all and wouldn't get into the spirit of the game. "I thought you said you were right into football," Tony broke the silence in the car.

"I don't know what that... That whatever it was, was but that wasn't football," Bruce answered. "That was more like, I don't know what that was," he continued.

"Then what is football in Australia then?" Tony asked. "It can't be that different can it?" They ended up back in the bullpen due to a quick meeting with Gibbs. As soon as the meeting had concluded, Bruce began trying to explain the fundamentals of Australian Football... With each passing sentence, his audience was growing.

Team Gibbs had pulled up chairs and watched Bruce try and explain it with the aid of a large white board. "Now..." Bruce began again. "Unlike the way our rugby or _YOUR_ football is played on... Our Australian Football, better known as AFL, is played on an oval shaped oval," Bruce drew a crudely shaped oval on the board with a circle inside a square in the center. "Now unlike the H-shaped goals NFL has... There are two large goal posts here, and two smaller posts either side," Bruce made sure everyone was following. Eighteen players from each team are allowed on the field at each time... Please stop me if I'm going too fast," Bruce said. "In between the main goal posts either side sits the goal umpires. If you divide the oval into 3 sections. One field umpire takes each section... These umpires are also known as Dropkicks, bastards, one-eyed bastards," Bruce explained with a smile...

They listened intently. But Bruce could tell they were getting glassy eyed with an information overload. "Wait, so are you saying they can't throw the ball?" Tony asked. "How do they pass it to a team mate?"

"They can kick it to them or handball it," Bruce answered as he demonstrated punching the ball from the palm of the hand. "If you throw it... The opposition is given the ball and they get a free kick," Bruce explained as easily as he could.

"Free kick?" Tony asked. He really seemed to be the only person paying attention.

"Yes, if you violate the rules... The umpire takes the ball and gives it to the opposition and they get the chance to get the ball through their goals," Bruce explained. "Some rules are... There's no tackling above the shoulders or below the waist... No pushing anybody in the back or tackling anyone without the ball... You are allowed to bump a player when they have or don't have the ball as long as it's during the contest of getting the ball," he tried to make the rules make sense...

"So, you can't throw the ball, you can only tackle in the strike zone when they have the ball," Gibbs stated. "Sounds very confusing to me. Why do they call it football when you carry the ball with your hands," Gibbs made the blatant observation.

"Yeah," Bruce answered with the nod of the head. "But if the person who has the ball, throws it… Runs to far with it or holds onto it too long while being tackled… Then he has to give the ball to the opposition," he gave a quick rundown.

"Wait," Tony interrupted. "So they can only carry the ball so many steps and then they have to get rid of it?" He asked.

"No… If they want to take more than15 steps they have to bounce the ball," Bruce explained. The rules sounded easy enough to him, but the others were making it so difficult to explain it easily. "Oh go and watch a couple of games on youtube," Bruce said. "But keep in mind what I have said… Class dismissed!"

* * *

**_A/N: There's only two more chapters planned for this._**

**_Next Chapter Preview: Bruce shows them how to have an aussie Barbie._**

**_Chapter after that... It's farewell for Bruce and McGee returns from the land downunder._**


	4. The Barbie

_**The Barbie**_

Bruce LaPaglia placed envelopes on his teammates' desks and sent one down to the Lab for Abby and also to Autopsy for Ducky. Bruce didn't have too much longer at this NCIS, so he thought he'd give his newfound mates a taste of Aussie. He waited at his desk for the others to return.

All the stories that he had heard about the US… It wasn't like they made out. There weren't new cases every five minutes. Ziva and Tony walked to their respective desks and immediately noticed the envelope on their desks.

"What is this?" Ziva asked as she opened it up.

_G'day Mate!  
__This is an invitation to an old fashioned Barbie  
__Please bring a six pack.  
__Dress Australian and wear Thongs, shorts and a singlet.  
__Prepare for Kick2Kick games.  
__Also bring appetite_

_Friday Evening 5 pm sharp_

Tony's eyes widened as he read through the letter. _Thong? He can't be serious!_ He thought as he read through his invitation. Ziva looked over to Tony with the same shocked expression.

"What is Kick to kick?" Ziva asked Bruce.

"Come to the Barbie and you'll find out," Bruce answered with a smile.

"What is Gee Day?" Ziva asked another question with a confused look on her face.

Bruce fought back at a chuckle. "Not… Gee day. G'day. You know it's a shortened version of Good Day… Go on. G'day," Bruce spoke clearly.

Ziva raised an eyebrow. "Goo day?" She asked.

"No… G'day," Bruce responded.

"Geeeee'day?" Ziva said slowly.

"Close," Bruce tried to sound positive out of fear of personal home. "Ger… Ger… Ger'day," He pronounced it even slower for her.

"Grrrr'day?" Ziva was getting frustrated.

"Gah… Gah…" Bruce suggested one at a time. "Now day… day… Gah… Gah… Gah Day… G'day," he said trying to spell each syllable out.

"Gah… Gah… Gah," Tony and Ziva began trying to say.

"If you lot have finished going Ga Ga, perhaps you can finish off your reports," Gibbs strolled into the bullpen.

"Ga'day," Ziva said triumphantly.

Bruce smiled. "That's really good Ziva," he said. Ziva poked her tongue out at Tony in victory. "So can I count you lot in?" Bruce asked hopefully.

"Count me in," everyone in the bullpen said. "Just one question though," Gibbs said. "What's Gee Day?" He asked.

Tony, Ziva and Bruce all glanced at each other.

* * *

_**Friday Night Barbie**_

Bruce had began cooking the BBQ early and hoped that he'd at least got it well underway before the guests arrived. It turned out that all the people Bruce invited had turned up. He was surprised and slightly angry when it appeared that none of them were wearing thongs. _What the hell did they have against thongs?_ He wondered.

"Try this," Bruce said as he handed out the Aussie burgers. Onion, egg and barbecue burned steak.

"This doesn't look healthy," Ducky frowned.

Ziva waited till Tony and Gibbs bit into theirs before doing the same. Abby wasted no time in trying it… "A little too burned for my liking but it's still quite nice," Tony said as he kept on eating.

Ducky didn't want to be rude to the host so he graciously ate it. "Tastes good," Ducky said. "You know… I've never been to Australia," he said.

"I think you'll like it there," Bruce replied. "There's so much going on… There are some great tours to go on and lots of interesting people. If you ever get to West Australia, you should go and visit Fremantle Prison. You'll have a bloody ball," Bruce said as he bit into his own hamburger.

"You got ketchup instead?" Tony asked.

Bruce glared at him. "That's sacrilegious," he said. "This is an Aussie Barbie. That fake tomato sauce has no place here," Bruce replied with a friendly smile. "So did you enjoy?" He asked after they'd done eating.

"It was really nice," Gibbs said.

"Fantastically awesome," Abby answered.

"Great," Tony added.

"It was interesting," Ziva said.

"I think it's very good to have once in awhile. Personally, I wouldn't want to eat this too often," Ducky said smiling.

After they downed a couple of bottles of beer before Bruce pulled out the football. "Are you ready for kick to kick?" He asked eagerly. They should be prepared for the game… Or as prepared as any American could be.

"Sure," The all muttered.

"Alright… Gibbs, Abby and Tony stand at that end of the yard," Bruce explained. "While Ducky, Ziva and I are on this side," he said. That sounded fair for sure. Since they had one older guy each and a girl on each side it'd make for a fun game.

Bruce took the ball and showed them how to kick it right. He kicked it over to Gibbs, Abby and Tony. "You three are suppose to try and mark it!" Bruce called out to them. The only response he got was blank faces. "Catch it!" He clarified what he meant.

Gibbs mimicked the kicking action and sent the ball flying towards Ducky, Bruce and Ziva. Bruce ran towards it and jumped up and caught it. His mini celebration was short lived when he'd noticed that nobody else had gone for the ball. "When the ball comes our way you're supposed to try and get to the ball first," Bruce told Ducky and Ziva.

"Alright," Ziva smiled. The smile turned mischievous when Bruce's back was turned.

Abby had managed to get to the ball and began running circles around Tony and Gibbs excitedly. Bruce laughed to himself… She tackled everything the same, with over enthusiasm. Abby kicked it and again Bruce went to chase after it but tripped over something and was sent sprawling face first into the grass. "Ouch!" Bruce said… "Hey!" He jumped to his feet and ran after Ziva.

Bruce wrapped his arms around her waist as a tackle. In automatic mode, Ziva dropped the ball and flipped him. "Hey!" Bruce called out as he hit the ground with a sickening thud. "Crikey!"

The simple kick to kick game was now turning serious as Bruce grabbed the ankle of Ziva which caused her to fall over and he tried to get the ball but was pinned down. Ziva and Bruce watched hopelessly as Ducky calmly strolled over and picked up the ball and kicked it over to the others.

"This is a real interesting game," Ducky said. "I thought it was supposed to be friendly though."

"This is the friendly version," Bruce said as he got up.

The game of kick to kick eventually settled down and they all thought it would be a great time to teach the Australian a bit of NFL. Bruce found himself actually eager to play the game. He was willing to try anything new… At least once. They told him to wait behind Ducky so he did.

"83, 83, 24…" Ducky called out. "Hut hut hut!"

"What?" Bruce asked as he suddenly felt the ball thrown at him. The others began running in front of him but there was nobody behind him. He made a mad dash for it but was quickly crashed to the ground by Gibbs and Tony. "Shit!" He cursed. If this kept up, he'd be going back home in traction.

Tony helped him to his feet. "Why did you not throw the ball?" Ziva asked Bruce.

"There was nobody behind me," Bruce reasoned. "So I couldn't pass the ball."

"Why not?" Tony asked.

"You can only pass the ball backwards," Bruce answered. That's what the rules were. "So I couldn't pass the ball because everybody was in front of me," he said.

"This is NFL not Rugby my dear boy," Ducky said and all the others sighed. By the time they had finished explaining the object of the NFL games and it's fundamentals it was way too late to start playing again. "You get all that?" Ducky asked.

"I have one thing to say," Bruce answered. "That game Tony took me to makes a bloody lot more sense now…" He laughed.

* * *

_**A/N: Next chapter is the last one… Bruce LaPaglia farewells the NCIS team. Presents are exchanged and there's a send off.**_

_**And McGee comes back**_


	5. Farewell Aussie

_**Miscommunication Final**_

On his last day at NCIS, Bruce LaPaglia brought in a couple of bags with him. This had caught everyone's attention. But it wasn't until the end of the day that they were going to find out what he had brought with him. Everybody waited with anticipation and when the day finally ended he'd called up everyone together including Ducky and Abby.

"I've come bearing gifts," Bruce laughed as they all looked at each other. "First of all… We have for Tony… I know you're a sportsman mate. It took me ages to find an Australian football in the shop. Here you go," Bruce said.

"Wow thanks," Tony caught the ball that was handballed to him.

"Ziva… You were hard to buy for. So I got a mate to send over this dictionary of Australian American translation. I hope you like it," he gave the book to Ziva. "Hope you enjoy it. I know how much you like reading," Bruce said.

"Thank you. Perhaps now I can understand some of the things you have been saying no?" Ziva said as she started reading some of it.

"Ducky… I know how much you like stories. So, here's a book for you. Strange But True Australian stories," Bruce smiled. "You'll really like that," he added.

"Why thank you my dear boy," Ducky said as he graciously took the book.

"Jethro Gibbs," Bruce sighed. "Now you were really difficult to get a gift for," he said.

"It doesn't matter. You don't need to get me anything," Gibbs said. He was never one to exchange gifts with a lot of people.

"I wished you told me that before because I got you a book as well. A book on Australia's Military History," Bruce shrugged as he handed it over. "I thought of getting you a power saw but that's a little pricey," he laughed.

"Thanks," Gibbs said flatly.

"Okay," Bruce said. "I wanted to get you all something, that when you're wearing them you'll immediately think of me. So I got everyone a pair of thongs," the others thought he was joking until they saw the serious look on his face. There was a sudden silence. "These are really comfortable for down the beach as well," he added.

"What?!" Gibbs said. They all looked at each other with shocked and worried expressions. They weren't going to be wearing tight little panties out in public. "There's no way we're wearing thongs," Gibbs growled.

"Oh come on," Bruce said slowly. "I wear thongs wherever I go. They do feel nice and comfortable."

Ziva laughed. "You wear thongs out in public?" Abby asked. She was as open minded as they come but a guy wearing a thong out in public was even beyond her reasoning.

"Sure," Bruce said. "As often I can."

"Don't people say anything?" Ducky asked.

"Nope," Bruce answered.

"Thongs are flip flops," Ziva exclaimed as she pointed in her newly acquired dictionary triumphantly.

"Spoil my fun, Ziva," Bruce smirked. "I wanted to see their faces when I brought out these," he reached into a bag and pulled out thongs for Ducky, Gibbs, Tony and Ziva. "There you go," he looked into the bag. "Now, I get the feeling I'm missing someone…" Bruce's voice trailed off. "Oh yes, Abby," he smiled as he pulled out the last two items out of the plastic bags. "A pair of thongs for you. Oh and I know you love music so here's a CD of Aussie classic songs. I think you'll get a kick out of it," he said.

"My God. I'll play it the first chance I get," Abby said excitedly.

"That's good," Bruce smiled. "After a rough first week it's actually been great working with you lot," it wasn't such a fond memory the first week.

"Been good working with an Australian to," Tony said.

"If you ever down in the neighborhood again you have to swing by and visit," Abby said exuberantly and embraced him in a quick hug.

"Thanks Abby," Bruce replied. "I'll make sure I do," he said.

Tony and Bruce shook hands but exchanged no words. "Here's a trophy for you," Gibbs said and handed him a US NCIS badge. "There you go," he said.

"Thanks mate," Bruce replied. "It's been great working with you lot. It's been an experience that's for sure," he added. "And if you're ever in WA come and look me up."

"Washington?" Ziva asked.

"Western Australia," Bruce corrected as he donned his coat and put down the collar. "I'm not sure if I'll see you guys again before I go. I've got some packing to do and that," he told them. Who would have thought that he felt like he was missing them already? You had the cold but caring Ziva. The frat brother Tony. The Grandfather Ducky. Abby? Well Abby was Abby and then the boss slash father figure to the team. That was definitely something. Bruce went to leave. "G'day mates," he said with a wave.

Ducky cleared his throat which made Bruce stop in his tracks and turn around. "Once a Jolly swagman camped by a billabong under the shade of a coolibah tree," he sung. Soon the others tentatively joined in with singing the song. Bruce smiled… This had been planned for sure.

"And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil. You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me," Everyone sung. "Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda. You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me. He sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil. You'll come a Waltzing Matilda with me."

Bruce almost laughed. The song sounded funny sung with the different accents but the effect was there. They'd put an effort into this and they sung it loud. They didn't care that other teams were looking on strangely at this.

_Down came a jumbuck to drink beside the billabong  
Up jumped the swagman and seized him with glee  
And he sang as he tucked jumbuck in his tuckerbag  
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me_

_Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda  
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me  
And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong  
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me._

_Down came the stockman, riding on his thoroughbred,  
Down came the troopers, one, two, three.  
"Where's the jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag?  
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me_

_Waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda  
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me  
And he sang as he sat and waited by the billabong  
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me._

_Up jumped the swagman and plunged into the billabong,  
"You'll never catch me alive," cried he  
And his ghost may be heard as you ride beside the billabong,  
You'll come a waltzing matilda with me_

Bruce waited dutifully until they finished the song before stepping into the elevator. He gave them a smile before the doors closed. As soon as he was alone he bowed his head for a few seconds and wiped his eyes before laughing. "I hope they've been treating McGee as good," Bruce said as he was referring to his teammates back home.

* * *

McGee adjusted his jacket as he walked into the Bullpen of his NCIS… The US NCIS, he was so grateful to be home. This was where he belonged. This was where he understood things. Everyone had welcomed him back with a high level of exuberance and he sat down at his desk.

"You wouldn't believe the time I've had," McGee sighed. "You can't fathom how hard it is to understand Australians," he said.

"Probably not," Ziva replied as the others were too busy looking at their screens.

"Because things almost went from bad to worse, it's like they're from a whole different planet," McGee tried to explain. "We had a Barbie at a park then get this… In Australia we played a variation of an English game called French Cricket. Go figure," he said.

"Don't worry Probie," Tony said. "Everything's normal here," he said as he stood up and walked around.

McGee's jaw dropped. Tony was wearing flip flops. He saw Gibbs' feet and rubbed his eyes as if he'd just woken up. Gibbs and Ziva were wearing flip flops as well. Abby came up to welcome McGee back. He was relieved that she wasn't wearing flip flops. But she was singing…

"There was a redback on my toilet seat when I was there last night… I never saw him in the dark but boy I felt his bite. I jumped six feet into the air and when I hit the ground, that clucky old spider was nowhere to be found," she stopped singing. "Timmy… Welcome back it's been a long time," she said while wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders. "I missed you… What's wrong?" Abby noticed his silence.

"Why do I get this funny feeling that the plane must have did a U-Turn?" McGee asked.

* * *

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story. It was hilarious writing this. I wanted NCIS team to give Bruce a real good send off. LOL.**_

_**A/N 2: Does anyone want to see what McGee's time in Australia was like?**_


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